Hijikata's ladder

Last night - Once again

I was walking in a remote forest

I heard the beautiful song of an invisible bird

I saw the eyes of wild creatures

Staring at me from beneath the leaves of the trees

I went deeper and deeper into this forest

Slowly, with no fear

At some point

The beautiful song of the invisible bird

Stopped

And all the creatures vanished

The forest was replaced with

A warm, white, friendly presence

I felt as if we knew each other

From the very beginning of everything

I walked into it

It didn't last long

Before I understood

The presence would leave me

As it was fading away

I could have died here

Just to stay with it

But

I heard voices above my head

I saw faces in a purple light

I was in my mother's womb

The day of my birth

I was trying to make my way

Into the world of the living

I woke up in an odd position

Breathing fast and almost screaming

With my right forearm extended

As if to reach something

On my back, with my neck twisted

So that my eyes were looking above my shoulders

I still can feel the strength of the motion I made

With my right hand and fingers (very unusual, I am left-handed)

To grasp reality